


VIP: Very Important Parker

by xRockChickx



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Day 1, M/M, SpideyPoolWeek, Spideypool - Freeform, chauffeur!Wade, rich!Pete, sorry i guess, there's a teeny bit of nsfw but nothing extensive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-02
Updated: 2015-09-02
Packaged: 2018-04-18 14:22:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4709192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xRockChickx/pseuds/xRockChickx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wade's a limousine chauffeur, and he's not very fond of the kind of people he works for. He grows quite fond of one of them while driving to a gala, though. He even starts liking his necktie more. For SpideyPool Week day 1.</p>
            </blockquote>





	VIP: Very Important Parker

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for SpideyPool Week Day 1 - any AU, so I chose to go with the absurdity that is rich Peter Parker, and Wade is a limo chauffeur.  
> Y'all should thank [Sci](http://archiveofourown.org/users/sciderman) for this truly amazing title.

Wade Wilson wasn't a simple man and he had a mildly complicated life. Most of his problems were caused by either his never-ending health issues, his looks, or his job. He felt strong disgust towards his job time to time, and not because of the nature of it, but because of the people who were involved.

He was a chauffeur. It wasn't bad in general – he loved driving, and he was good at it, which surprised many people, because for whatever reason, they never expected him to be good at anything at all. Bald and scarred dudes with mildly informal language weren't very popular in overly wealthy circles. It had been like that since forever, so Wade wasn't taken aback by this. He was just happy he could make a good career out of something he enjoyed doing on most days.

Well, not right now though. His car was so dirty after his last drive.

Wade was chauffeur and he drove rich people. Like, pretty darn rich. Rich enough to pay for limo rides on a regular basis. Wade did have a limo and he did drive it, so he made a living out of it and he helped all these annoying, snobbish and rich people get from one place to the other in the fanciest way possible.

Most of these people were either fancy people in suits and wearing way too serious expressions on their faces, or they were fancy people in clothes fit for balls as they talked about very fine art while sipping expensive champagne, or they were teenagers who really wanted a good party in a luxurious car that they could pay for, because daddy and mommy had too much money and too little time to tell their kids that cars weren't invented for the purpose of partying in them. Limos kind of were though. Wade grunted at that realisation.

Today he had the luck of working for some of these teenagers, so now he had to get his baby cleaned before he could go and get another job done. He had to pick up some CEO of some company and take him to some gala. The dude who held the mentioned gala ordered limos for every single super important guest. Wade wondered how that was even worth the money.

But he wasn't one to question it. Hopefully whoever he had to drive was kind enough not to leave a mess.

"Stop sighing," he heard from his car, which made him pout petulantly.

"Shut up, Weas, it's not your car that gets wrecked every day."

"But I'm the one who needs to clean it," the man replied, and before Wade could respond the sound of a vacuum cleaner filled the garage.

Wade rolled his eyes and fished his phone out of his pocket to occupy himself until Weasel was done with the cleaning.

It ended up taking a while, but Wade could finally leave with a freshly scrubbed limo, so he had no complaints. He finally got going to pick up the CEO and take him to that luxurious gala. The drive to the guy's home didn't take long, and soon he was able to park his limo in front of the house. He ignored all the stares he and his car got as he waited. He was about 15 minutes early. It was curious how this posh specimen didn't live in a typically rich area though.

As Wade waited he drummed on the steering wheel with his fingers, humming a song that had been stuck in his head all day. Mr. CEO stumbled out of his oddly-not-fancy house fashionably fifteen minutes late. Wade looked at him then re-checked the address. He was supposedly at the right place.

He got out of the car to open the door for the twenty-something-year-old guy who did not look like he was ready for a fancy gala, despite the suit that actually fit him very nicely, if Wade said so himself. Mr. CEO was busy adjusting his tie and trying not to choke himself as he walked towards the limo. His hair looked like it needed some adjusting, too. Wade wondered if it could be tamed with little snacks like that dog he had once.

"Good evening, Mr. Parker," he greeted as he opened the limo's door wide for the man.

The CEO finally looked up, his eyes meeting Wade's, and he immediately flushed. That was not the usual reaction people gave Wade when they looked at his face; if they looked at him at all, that is. The most common reaction to seeing the scars on his face was a grimace.

This dude just looked horribly embarrassed. So horribly embarrassed that Wade wondered if the poor guy was regretting his entire life along with all the choices he had ever made.

"Good evening," Parker replied. "I'm sorry about being late."

At this point Wade was pretty sure Mr. CEO wasn't born into wealth. He probably didn't even become wealthy while he was growing up. Wade raised a brow.

"S'okay, sir," he added when the man didn't move.

Parker looked at the open door as if just realising he was supposed to get in.

"I'm gonna be alone?" he asked in a mildly anxious tone.

"Yep."

Parker grunted unhappily, but got into the limo. Wade closed the door and went to the driver seat. He couldn't help but feel amused by the CEO's behaviour – he seemed to feel incredibly out of place and like he had no idea what he was supposed to do. Wade kind of hoped moving in posh circles wouldn't break his gentle little soul.

In roughly ten minutes the tinted window that separated the driver from the rest of the interior rolled down and Parker's head popped up. Wade sent him a questioning look through the mirror. There was that embarrassed look on his face again.

"Uh... how do I even use this cup holder? Everything is super complicated here."

Wade couldn't stifle his laughter – which was probably super rude, but his companion was not the regular rich dude, so he hoped it didn't matter.

"See that blue button near it? Push it."

Parker cautiously followed the instruction.

"Is an entire table supposed to appear?" he asked.

"If you call that an entire table, then yes."

"I could spread a textbook on it."

Wade grinned and shook his head.

"Is this your first time travelling in a limousine, Mr. Parker?"

"Oh no, please call me just Peter. All this formality freaks me out a bit. And I've been in limousines before, but I never dared to touch anything, because my friend's dad was there and I felt too intimidated."

"You really aren't like the kind of people who move in wealthy circles."

"God, I'm really not. I have no idea what I'm doing. I've never been to a gala before. What do people even do during galas?" Peter asked. He probably didn't even want to open up this much, but his nervousness must have made him babble.

"They talk about stuff they have no idea about and show off how rich they are. Just be polite and agree with everything they say if you want them to like you."

"Sounds easy enough," Peter hummed.

"You will change your mind about that as soon as they open their mouths, probably," Wade remarked in an amused tone. Peter groaned at that. "How long have you been CEO?" Wade asked curiously.

"For about three years now. It's a wild ride."

"Three years and this is your first invitation to a fancy-party?" Wade furrowed his brows.

"I tried to exclude myself from this kind of stuff and just mind my own business."

"No way! Don't you like... own one of the biggest science things in New York?"

"I guess I do," Peter answered with a nervous chuckle. As Wade stopped at a red light he looked at the man like he was a 5'10" sparrow wearing a clown suit. Peter blinked at the chauffeur's confused and doubtful expression. "I just wanted to do some science, I totally didn't sign up for this. I would have been fine with enough money to be able to afford a comfy little apartment plus paying the bills and having decent food..." Peter babbled awkwardly. "I don't really know what to do with all this stuff going on around me."

"So you're umm... not happy with being rich?" he asked, turning back to the road just to see the traffic light change.

"I just don't know what to do with all that money, and how to handle all the people who talk to me because of being rich." Peter grimaced at the word rich, like he couldn't believe he was saying that about himself.

"Dunno man, donate?" Wade shrugged.

"Yeah, I do that," mumbled Peter.

"Just be awesome like Angelina Jolie and it should be all good."

Peter chuckled. "Thanks, that's actually a great advice."

Wade snorted and a smirk tugged at his lips. "We're almost there, so get ready for a few hours of torture, baby boy."

Peter couldn't decide whether he should whimper at the statement or blush at the nickname, so he simply did both.

"Are you the one who's going to drive me home too?" he asked, trying to hide the hopefulness in his voice, but this attempt wasn't very successful.

"I'm pretty sure I am."

"Great. It's a bit relieving to see familiar faces when it gets to this stuff..."

"You've known me for about half an hour."

"That's more than nothing, and you're not awfully formal and serious with me."

"Yeah, that's not really my style," Wade grumbled. "Only do it 'cause I wouldn't get a job otherwise."

"Are you freelancing?"

"Pretty much."

"So you own the limo? That's pretty rad."

"Yeah, well, you can tell me more about how cool I am on our way back, because we've arrived," Wade replied as he slowed down in front of a mansion.

Peter looked outside, glancing at the huge building. "Oh, shit," he muttered under his breath, his voice barely heard. Wade laughed and turned around in his seat as he stopped.

"Hey, lean closer," he huffed and Peter fulfilled the request with a slightly puzzled look on his face. Wade ran his hand through Peter's hair, combing the unruly brown locks into a more acceptable position. "Much better," he nodded and patted Peter's cheek, making the man look away.

"Uh, thanks," he mumbled as the waiting staff opened the limousine's door for him. "See you later," he added before getting out of the car.

As the door was closed Wade shook his head and drove away from the entrance, giving room for the many more guests arriving.

In a few hours Wade stopped his car in front of the mansion again, his windows rolled down, to pick up a very tired and nervous looking Peter Parker. He winked at the man before the staff opened the door for him and he could get in the car, which made Peter send him a weak smile. Once the man was in the car and the door was closed Wade rolled up the windows – not the one separating the driver from the rest of the limousine though.

"Had fun?" Wade asked with a grin, already knowing the answer as he started the car. Peter replied with a grimace and a groan.

"You were right. It wasn't easy to agree with everything they say. Not at all."

Wade laughed as he drove.

"Posh people are hard to handle if you're not one of them. Did you at least eat the host out of his wealth?"

"Are you kidding? The food was awful."

That just made Wade laugh even harder. "So what are you going to do, kindly refuse all the invitations from now on?"

"I don't think I can do that," Peter sighed sadly. "I'll just go and suffer. I guess it comes with the money. Maybe it's karma."

"Don't beat yourself up over being successful, sweetcheeks. Didn't you build the company yourself?"

"I guess I did."

"Then just concentrate on all the opportunities it gives you. Like all the science you can do."

"This is honestly the best piece of advice I've received so far today, and I can't even tell you how many I've heard." Wade – very empathically – snorted. "Err, by the way, I don't even know your name."

"That sounds like something people say after a one night stand," Wade remarked and couldn't help but smirk when he looked into the mirror and saw Peter blink repeatedly in embarrassment. "Name's Wade Wilson, or in case of a one night stand, 'good boy' or 'just like that' works very well, but some people even call me 'oh god'."

"Dear lord, stop," Peter whispered and buried his face in his hand.

"I'm sorry, you're just too cute when you're embarrassed."

"You're cruel."

"Aww, I'm so hurt, Petey," Wade whined.

"Yeah, I bet. I'm super sorry," Peter rolled his eyes, and Wade just grunted in response.

There was silence for a few minutes. First it was quite comfortable, but with time it started getting a bit awkward. Peter started recognising the streets around them as they arrived to a more familiar part of the city, closer to his home. His gaze was fixated on the chauffeur again.

"So," he broke the silence, "I've been thinking about buying a car, but I really can't drive."

"You're either asking me to teach you how to drive or you're trying to hire me, in which case this is the lousiest job offer I've ever heard leave someone's mouth." Peter flushed and looked away. Looking into the mirror Wade caught him biting into his lower lip. What a beautiful sight. "Oddly enough, it's the most appealing one I've got in years," he grinned. A tiny surprised sound fell from Peter's lips. He dared to look up at the chauffeur. "Did you mean a long-term thing?" Wade asked.

"Y-yeah."

"Well, I'm gonna give you my business card, and you gotta call me back and tell me a number that sounds convincing enough, Mr. Parker."

This time Peter bit his lip to hide his smile. Wade almost felt frustrated over how cute he was.

Looking out the window Peter realised that they were almost at his home. It made him feel kind of disappointed despite how awkward he felt first in the huge limo.

Wade stopped the car in front of Peter's home. He got out faster than the CEO realised and opened the door for him. Peter looked up at him with a pout.

"Stop doing that, I really don't care about formalities."

"Ah, what a rebel you are, sweetcakes," Wade cooed.

"Me? You're the one who calls his future employer by nicknames," Peter replied as he climbed out of the limousine.

"Wow, _my future employer_ is very confident for someone who hasn't actually made an agreement with his _hopefully future employee_ yet."

"My _future employee_ is the one who's being a bit too snappy for someone who doesn't actually have the job yet."

"I'm pretty sure I do have that job, boss," Wade replied with a smirk. Peter stepped a bit closer and slightly narrowed his eyes as he glanced at the chauffeur.

"Well, then be careful, or you're not getting a raise anytime soon."

"I'm already pretty close to one, Mr. Parker," responded Wade, his voice almost a purr.

The air seemed to be stuck in Peter. Wade didn't really know why he hadn't expected it, but it took him by surprise when the man pulled him close by his necktie – he quickly came to the conclusion he didn't hate neckties anymore – and smacked their lips together. When they parted, Peter let out a huffy breath.

"I'm sorry, I–"

"If you're gonna apologise for all the years I spent without experiencing this kiss, please save your time and say nothing."

A small smirk tugged at Peter's lips. He pulled Wade even closer, so close they could feel each other's body heat. A grin spread on Wade's face.

"So, have you ever fucked in a limo, or were you too intimidated by your friend's dad to do it?"

Peter pouted and blushed. "Wow, that's just plain rude."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Parker. Does that mean I'm not getting my raise?" Wade asked innocently as he guided Peter's hand to his crotch.

"I guess it's too late to decide about that now," the CEO breathed, groping Wade until the man let out a small gasp. "God, Wade, we're in the middle of the street," he whispered.

"No one's here though," Wade muttered. "But you know, the car door is open, so we might as well..."

"God, yes," Peter whimpered and practically pulled Wade inside the limousine. "I really hope these doors are sound proof."

"As sound proof as a car can get, babe," Wade replied as he closed the door, just to be pressed against the soft leather seats the next moment. Peter pushed up against him and started peeling off the man's clothes.

"Great. In this case I expect to hear my name loud and clear," he murmured into Wade's ear before gently nibbling at his earlobe.

"Got it, boss," Wade smirked.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! :) I really don't know how I feel about this one, so I just hope you guys liked it more than me when I proof-read it lol


End file.
